Everything Happens For A Reason

I"m sure that's what everyone says to cure the sting of rejection.  After two back-to-back rejections: one from an internship and one from my dream school that I had turned down as a freshman, I feel like a rug was pulled from under me and I have lost my footing. I don't know what to do now.  I'm locked in for the next two years, and once I graduate from a school I was never really supposed to attend in the first place, then what?

I used to think I had what it took to succeed, and now I feel like everyone is getting what they want as I fall behind. It's frustrating.

I know I just have to move on to plan b and try harder to find my niche here until I graduate.  I just feel so lost though and it looks like I won't be getting any internship this summer.

Stress

"It's not the stress that kills us. It's our reaction to it." -Hans Selye


Sometimes there are moments where it seems like there are never enough hours in the day. There are moments where you have to decide whether you have to skip a meal, a workout, a few hours of sleep or more to do the work that needs to be done. And then there are moments where you stretch yourself so thin, you feel like no what how hard you work, how much time you put in, you're always falling behind.


School is hard. College is harder. Majoring in chemistry in college is rough (not to underscore how hard other majors are, but if you've ever taken organic chemistry, you would sympathize). Today was one of those days where I would myself, knee deep in a lab report that needed to be turned in at a specific time. I had completed it and submitted with 5 minutes to spare. But at what cost? I was unable to do the prelab for the lab that was starting right after the turn in deadline. So here I am, using what was supposed to be my lab time to instead write about how stress has consumed me more than ever. From the time I woke up, 7:30am to that turn-in deadline 2:00pm, it has been non stop. Test-taking over a topic I haven't had enough time to properly digest, lectures over a math concept I know little about, a quick 15 minute lunch because minutes are precious, and a coffee in hand as I walk out of the dining hall and straight to the library. Three hard hours of preparing a lab report that could make the difference between an A and a B in the class pass by. And the stress mounts and mounts.


My mind flickers to the possibility of having to forego taking the 30 minutes to write my prelab in order to have the best lab report I can write with the limited amount of time given. And then it becomes a reality. I start suppressing the urge to cry and the physical symptoms that come with it, runny nose, watery eyes, cracked voice. But of course as I had to explain to my TA why I couldn't participate in lab, it began to show. I quickly made my exit and quietly teared up on my way back to the library to rest my head in one of the carrels before I had to once again resume completing time-sensitive coursework in a few hours.


I was looking up stress quotes and I stumbled onto one from Hans Selye, an Austrian endocrinologist who studied stressors. I thought it was a very smart quote because it is true. The reason I broke and cried today was because I chose to react in such a manner. I let myself be weak for a moment and it took over. I am normally not a crier but sometimes and stress of schoolwork is enough to make it happen. In a way, it helps release some of the tension and anxiety that had built up. I guess it is a good thing because it means that I care about my studies and I genuinely want to do well in all my classes. But sometimes it becomes too much. Falling behind is like a slippery slope. Once you miss a step, it becomes progressively harder to regain your footing.


I figure I should leave this on a positive note because I don't want to feel sad after writing this and I don't want anyone to feel sad reading this. I will say that I have emailed one of my professors to arrange a meeting outside office hours that I'm hoping will become the first of many regular visits. I have begun writing my prelab to prepare for the day that make up labs are held. I have recovered my little anxiety episode. So things are getting better.


Lastly, I was looking at an article on ways to reduce stress and I copied down a few that stuck out to me.

-Write about it.

-Take a nap

-Exercise/Yoga

-Breathe.


Keeping a gratitude/happiness journal and write down things that you are grateful for for things that made you happy. I've been thinking about doing this and combining it with typography and quotes.

xx

Umm...I met Cassey Ho from Blogilates...WHAT?!?!?

So yeah, that happened. Cassey from Blogilates had announced a few cities to launch her new book Hot Body Year Round and Dallas happened to be one of them. It was on a Friday and I was two hours away in college but obviously I had to go! So I got dressed up in my body pop leggings, blue Forever 21 backless 2-in-1 workout top and matching tennies and set out on the two hour journey.

I was so surprised at how many people were there. I got a spot in the back center area and set down my stuff. The book I ordered online hadn't come in yet but luckily they were selling copies there. So I bought a second book ( I may give the other one away to my cousin). I might do a book review on this soon.

The actual class itself was fun and hard at the same time. What's crazy is that I pushed myself and went harder then I usually do at home (maybe it's something about doing pilates in front of your fitness idol, I don't know). After the class I waited in the meet and greet line. There were lots of pictures being taken. I was even a part of a bodypop active group photo. And we all did cute poses.

When I finally met Cassey, I was so excited and nervous. I forgot everything I wanted to say to her about how I had been doing pop pilates for three years and how that class has now inspired me to want to become a group fitness instructor. Cassey, thank you so much for one of the most memorable moments of my life. Please come back to Texas.

P.S. In the rush of excitement, I forgot to pick up one of the cards on the table. It's a card or coupon. Sad. I was due to buy new workout gear.

Thank You

My blog has reached 6000 hits and I just wanted to take a minute from studying to say thank you to anyone who has clicked on my blog and took the time to read what I have to say. I know I haven't uploaded a ton lately, but you guys have stuck around. I promise once school work settles down a little I will start doing more weekly blog posts. I've got a few posts coming up such as an intense workout music playlist and a relaxed workout playlist, some study organization tips, hauls and more just general life updates.
Follow me on my social media accounts:
instagram: @connietran13
twitter: conniethuytran
I don't have a lot of followers or posts but if I got an influx of new followers, I may be inclined to change that ;) It also gives me a good reading on who follows my blog so give me a follow.

Redecorating PART 1: Furniture, Furnishings and Fluorescence

So I moved into a new house back in my hometown while I'm still going to college in another city. I thought I would share my whole process of decorating my room in a few steps.

Step 1: Decide on a central theme/color scheme
This is important to having a unified room. It is especially important if you have an ensuite bathroom.  With multiple rooms, you want something that ties the place together.  For my room, I decided on a sea/beach theme. I was at a crossroads between beach or nautical but ultimately decided on a beach theme because I wanted to incorporate turquoise and sky blues in my color scheme.

Still very messy.

Step 2: Get the big furniture
I had previous furniture so I didn't buy anything else. I may buy a desk and nightstand in the future but for now all I have is my bed and dresser.  It's also important to arrange it in a way that suits your liking and maximizes the space. My room isn't very big but it was important for me that the bed was arranged lengthwise since the footboard would close off the room. They were green and I didn't want to go through the process of repainting the furniture but I think it suits the room.

The bedding was only $47 and it came with the comforter, four pillow cases and two small pillows. 

Step 3: Find the right furnishings
This is probably the most important part to personalizing your room.  Adding small things here and there help to convey your theme. For me, it was about a three day shopping spree finding things to decorate my room and bathroom. I went to Kohl's, Kirkland's (check out my previous posts for that), Burlington Coat Factory where I got my amazing bedspread, and ROSS where I bought hangers and new pillows.

Check out my paint swatches. I'm thinking the one on the top. 

Step 4: Small details
Little things (or not so little things) put the final cherry on top of a perfect room. This means changinck out my paint swatches. I'm thinking the one on the top. The lightbulbs I had before gave off a warm tone which didn't go well with the blue tones of my room so I changed to cfl bulbs with natural lighting. They were the coolest (cool as in color) ones on the warm-cool spectrum, plus they are more energy efficient.

 See how changing from incandescent to cfl lightbulbs make a difference? 

What's left? This is obviously a work in progress. I have only been here a few days and I am satisfied with what I have accomplished so far. I am hoping to have the bathroom and shower room painted with shades of blue before I leave. I also wanted hardwood floors but I don't think that is going to happen anytime soon. I also want the walls in my main room painted grey and the trim painted white. I have to get paintings ordered to put on my bare walls and hopefully a desk and nightstand. I also want to change the curtains in my room. And you can't see it in my photos but to the right of the sink in a linen closet. The way the floorplan is, the doors run into each other so I plan to take out the door and put in a pressure rod and curtain.

What's my favorite place to shop? + Home Decor Haul

I get lots of question as to what's my favorite store to shop? For a while I would shuffle between Charlotte Russe, Forever 21, Wetseal Papaya and lots more. Recently I rediscovered a store that has now become a clear favorite for me: Kohl's. Before this year, I hadn't stepped into a Kohl's in maybe five years and now I'm mentally kicking myself for it because I have missed out on a lot of cute clothing.

So you may ask, why Kohl's? It's simple really. 1) They do that thing where they jack up the prices but always have sales so you think you're saving a ton of money when you're probably not. 2) They have a points card and Kohl's cash (get $10 gift voucher for every $50 spent) so you actually are saving a lot of money. 3) It's a dept store so I can buy cute dresses, kitchen gear and home decor all in the same building.

This is the third time I've been to Kohl's in the past month. I thought I'd share what I bought and how much I saved.

Candie's Pintuck Tank in Spring Bouquet Blue $38.00  $9.99
I absolutely love the Candie's brand. Bright florals and colors are my bread and butter. This was on sale at $9.99. I think it was around $15 when I first went so when I saw it at $9.99, I couldn't resist. If it's still that price, I might buy the same thing in peach.

Candie's Reversible Woven Cami in Tossed Rose, Perfect Chevron & Botanical Pearl $38.00  $9.99

I think it's pretty clear how much I love this top since I bought it in three different patterns. I love this concept. A reversible cami. It's like buying 2-in-1! And again, It was on sale for $9.99 which is lower than I remember it was. This is so versatile. You can wear it on its own, or under a blazer.

SONOMA life + style Shoreline Fabric Shower Curtain $29.99  $17.99

I recently moved houses so it was time to buy some new housewares. For my bathroom, I wanted a beach/nautical theme. I saw this one online and instantly thought it was perfect. It has a burlap feel so I bought a basic shower lining $6.99 with it so that water wouldn't soak through.

SONOMA life + style Shoreline 3-pc. Nesting Basket Set $19.99  $11.99

Of course I had to buy some matching items with the shower curtain to have a unified look. What's cuter and more functional that these baskets. Be warned if you want to buy them online, they're a lot smaller that they look online.

SONOMA life + style Shoreline Live Laugh Love Hand Towel $14.99  $8.99

My bathroom has a ring for a hand towel so I figured I should buy one from the Shoreline collection. Even though they are on sale, $9 for a hand towel is a bit excessive so I only bought one. I love the phrase "Live Love Laugh".

SONOMA life + style Coastal Blend Vase Filler Set $19.99  $9.99

I love vase fillers and going along with my beach themed bathroom I bought this pack to put in my vases. I thought about buying a bigger bag of fillers for $12.50 but I passed on it. Lucky I did, I saw a bigger bag of similar product at Kirklands for $10. I bought another one on clearance for $3.99 that was full of brown small pinecones and similar things that I plan to spray paint gold and turquoise. (I can't find a picture online)

The total before tax was $99.90 so I qualified for $20 of Kohl's cash which I can use as a gift card but only between 3/16-3/22. I was scared I  would only get $10 since it wasn't over $100 but the cashier gave it to me. So in a way I only paid $80. Along with it I got a coupon for 20% off which I can combine with the Kohl's cash later. Kohl's does this to keep it's customers coming back and it is definitely working! Also with my Yes2You Kohl's points card, I get $5 for every 100 points (aka $100 spent) so that's another $5.

Total after tax: $108.14

Total Saved: $163.04

Kohl's Cash Earned: $25

Kirkland's Pearl Shell 3-piece Bath Accessory Set $14.99  $7.99

As much fun as I had saving money at Kohl's, this was my favorite purchase of the day. This was my first time at Kirkland's. I was immediately enchanted by their beach collection but it was the sale section that caught my eye. This three piece shell set which I thought was marked down to $9.99 which I still thought was a good deal and then at the check out found out that it was only $7.99. Can you believe that three pieces for $8. One of these at Bed Bath and Beyond would cost more than this whole set!

Bottom Line: 4 tops, shower curtain and liner, 3 nesting baskets, hand towel, 2 vase filler boxes, 3 pc bathroom set for $90. Seems like a deal to me.

Sometimes Bad Things Happen To Good People

I know this is a completely unrelated post. It is just that a series of events have been occurring and culminated to a point where I felt like a needed an outlet to vent and think. It all started the weekend of Valentine's Day. (The fact that it is Valentine's Day is completely irrelevant but it's a time place). I live in a student housing apartment and since I am not local and the apartment is about a mile from campus, I drive my car. The apartment has a parking garage and I park my car there every night. It's pretty secure. The only way someone can get into the building is with the fob that only residents have. Every door is secured like that.

The Sunday after Valentine's Day I walk to my car and find that my car door is ajar and everything is out of place. I'm talking, car manual out of the glove box and onto the passenger seat, stacks of paper bags in my car strewn about. It was obvious, someone had gotten into my car. I can say for certain if I had locked my car that night. I do almost every time I leave my car out of habit. But later you will find out that whether or not I had locked my car does not matter. I didn't find anything missing (to my knowledge). I of course knew there was foul play but I bit the bullet and didn't say anything to the apartment staff. I figured someone has already mouthed off to them and they didn't need another. Later everyone gets a notice acknowledging the break-ins so I wasn't the only one.

The second time it happens, it is last Sunday as in two days ago. Once again, door is unlocked, things are shifted about. I was worried because I had went shopping that day and had a bag of clothes in the car. Thankfully, nothing (to my knowledge) was taken. I had taken precautions and moved a lot of things out of my car. I'm pissed off once again. It was a weekend so none of the staff were at the office. I made a mental note to see them the next time they were available. So you think this is where it would end, but it gets a lot worse.

Monday, the campus closed at around 1pm because of the ice so I went home early. I parked my car even doing the thing where you lock the doors twice and it makes the honk sound. I knew I had locked my doors. I also had two bags of gym clothes and I was planning to wear but since campus closed early, I didn't get a chance to. I left them in my car thinking that it was one less thing to have to pack in the morning. I would just have the bag ready to go when I need to go to the gym. Fast forward to 9am, I am getting ready to head out for my 9:30 class and I see a police car in the garage and as I am walking to my car, I see small, dark crystal-like material on the ground to the left of my car. And I realize what has happened, someone has broken the window of my car. My two gym bags with a whole outfit each and my yoga mat, all missing. Property of at least $200 worth, gone.

I had to talk to police for the first time in my life. In context, I am only 19 years old. I am thankful to have never personally been involved in or a victim of any bad activity. And I'm talking to this police officer trying so badly to keep it together as I explain to her exactly what has happened the last few weeks. Eventually, I just break down crying. I am on the verge simply just typing or whenever I have to tell someone about it.

So here I am, car-less, yoga mat-less, down two pairs of nikes (and now no way to workout) and left feeling utterly hopeless and helpless. As if I wasn't already stressed about tests, and classes and generally being behind in coursework, now I have to deal with this. I wonder how did it get this far. I start looking for people to blame. Myself, for leaving goods in my car, locking the doors (if I hadn't locked the doors I probably wouldn't have a broken window) being unlucky enough to have been picked three times, the asshole(s) for being a disgusting human being, the apartment complex for leaving a broken gate open for over a week, for not doing anything after the incidents FIRST started except send out a note, for telling everyone they can't be held responsible and that we should just lock their doors, for not implementing any safety measures other then sending out said note, for only getting police involved once windows were shattered nearly two weeks after the first incident.

I don't know what the point of this post was. To just rant about my awful day, to say that we live in a cruel world and that sometimes things will happen to us and we just have to deal with it and move on. I don't know. I do know know that I have to phone my insurance company and eventually tell my mom, and pray someone finds my stuff. But I don't know where to go from there. It's times like these that really test you. I don't want to live in fear that something bad can happen to me because it happened once. I don't want to always double check that I haven't left anything valuable in my car. I don't want to be paranoid that someone who most likely lives in the same building as me has committed these crimes. I want to hope that karma exists and that the universe will somehow resolve itself and restore order. Do I count my blessings that it was just a window or that I myself was not harmed, or that I live in a first world country where I have law enforcement who will help me when things like this happen? Do I say, well at least I was grateful enough to have a car to get broken into unlike those who can't afford a car? I don't know how to feel, but I do know that I am not happy.